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Family history

A few weeks ago, I was contacted by someone who was doing research into our family tree, or rather, my father's family tree. I mailed him a a few bits of information a couple of days ago, and received some info back in turn. For the moment, the tree goes back to ca. 1570, but that's not what struck me most.

Years ago, my father's brother took his family and moved them some 200 kms away from us. Since my father resented the fact that his brother's wife insisted on a phone call before a visit, we basically never saw them or their 3 sons again. I must have been about 10 when I last trudged the meadows with my cousins on my father's side, and somehow, in all the intervening years, whenever their existence crossed my mind, I pictured them as little boys. I remember how I went hunting for frogs with S., and how M. insisted on rescuing a baby bird that had fallen out of the nest when it was clear to both S. and myself that it would be better off having its neck snapped; and as to A., well, I only remember him in nappies...Now I have it here in black and white, that those litte boys have families of their own. And I'm strangely confused by that. If I met them in the street tomorrow, I wouldn't recognize them.

But then, I almost didn't recognize my own father this afternoon. I'm not happy with the level of care he receives in the home he's in. I know they're short-staffed and all that, but is that any reason to put his clothes on back to front? There were several unwashed cups and plates littered around his room, and his bed hadn't been made. They charge us 1200 euros a month, and they can't even find the time to comb his hair? It's a bleeding disgrace.

Also, the hot water isn't working, and according to my Dad, the hot water has been off for over a week now. He's complained about it, but nothing has been done to correct the problem.

I've made an appointment to see the manager next week, because this is simply not on.


Dec. 5th, 2004 01:43 pm (UTC)
Even the best homes are understaffed and overworked and some of the employees are just doing the minimum. I discovered all this when my folks were in a nursing home.

Sometimes things are justified in weird ways. (is your father incontinent? It's easier to change people when stuff does up loosely in the back or when clothes are backless. I'm not saying it's anything other than carelessness on the Home's part. Just saying that the more info you have, the better you'll be able to cope and help him. In my case, regular clothing WAS a problem. I ended up buying my folks special clothing appropriate for people in their condition. Made it easier for the staff to keep them clean and groomed, and made the cleaning and grooming easier on my folks).

There's no excuse for the hot water being off for a week.

You are an active involved relative. Absolutely the best thing for your father.

Good luck, sweetheart.
Dec. 5th, 2004 03:01 pm (UTC)
Yes, my father is incontinent and wears nappies. Because he soils himself regularly, we got him a huge stack of sweats to wear around the home, keeping his presentable clothes presentable for when he needs to go to the doctor or when we want to take him out for dinner or a family outing.

But in this case, the way his jumper was put on back to front was nothing to do with ease of access; it restricted him in his movements and irritated him, and was totally due to carelessness.

The thing that most concerns me now though, is the hot water situation. If that isn't back on tomorrow, heads will roll.
Dec. 5th, 2004 03:42 pm (UTC)
If that isn't back on tomorrow, heads will roll.

Damn right.