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Can we fix this? No, we can't!

What follows is my very lame response to the recent BtVS/children's TV/literature cross-over fics curiouswombat, speakr2customrs, and calove have written. With thanks to bogwitch, who egged me on.


"Bloody hell!", the vampire exclaimed, quickly putting the offending digit in his mouth, thereby preventing another stream of expletives from leaving his lips.

"Oh dear God", muttered Giles despairingly. Feeling a sudden headache coming on, he took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.

It had been like this all night. With Xander in hospital and Revello Drive in ruins, it had been up to the Watcher and the vampire to bury the hatchet for a few hours and carry out some necessary repairs to the windows and doors of Slayer Central; repairs aimed more at becalming the panicked Potentials, Giles had no doubt, than effective at keeping out Caleb's band of Bringers should he send these after them again. The trouble was, he had had to conclude during the course of the evening, that neither of them was any good at carpentry.

***


When Wendy had first suggested Bob take a holiday, he had scoffed at the idea; but after Dizzy had pointed out to him the fact that he'd been mindlessly adding sharp sand to the mix for the last 20 minutes or so, he had gone into town and booked himself onto the first flight out to SoCal. Yet, there had been no getting away from work entirely, for although Pilchard hadn't objected to staying behind with Wendy and minding the yard; Dizzy, Scoop and Muck had insisted they were due some time off, too...and Spud -- well, it was hard to leave Spud out of anything, really.

And so it happened that, while out for a leisurely walk through a quiet Californian suburb, they all heard the heartfelt "Ow!" followed by the equally heartfelt "Bloody hell!" and then the sound of creaking wood and crumbling masonry coming from somewhere on their right. Four pairs of eyes turned to Bob, who grinned and said, "Can we fix it?" "Yes, we can!", the others replied; and after doing a quick Dance of Joy on the spot, they veered off as one towards where the sounds had been coming from.

***


Having arrived at the scene, it didn't take Bob long to see that the two men attempting to barricade a large window could do with their help. He sent Spud inside to make the all-important tea (it gave Spud the idea that he was helping and kept him nicely out of the way of sharp tools), cast an expert eye over the splintered window frame, and assured a grateful if worried Giles that they would have the job done in no time, and at no more than cost price.
Before too long, Dizzy was busy mixing up cement, Scoop was clearing away the rubble from the front lawn, and Muck had taken it to the nearest landfill site for illegal dumping. During the night Bob had shown Spike the correct way to hold and guide a plane along the wood, and so the vampire had had no more cause to cry out for the splinters embedding themselves in his flesh; and Spud and Giles had kept each other company drinking copious amounts of tea.

When the sun rose again over the sleepy town of Sunnydale, the house at 1630 Revello Drive once again looked like any other in the street -- except for the fact that its windows were all boarded up and there was a cement mixer stood in front of it. But stranger things had been seen in the town of late, and the neighbours were hardly interested in worrying about something as minor as that.

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Comments

( 25 Speak Like A Child — Shout To The Top )
bogwitch
Feb. 21st, 2005 12:11 pm (UTC)
Ha! That was lovely. You can do it!
gamiila
Feb. 21st, 2005 12:18 pm (UTC)
Cheers! It felt strangely liberating to post that, even if it isn't very serious.
bogwitch
Feb. 21st, 2005 12:21 pm (UTC)
Dizzy had pointed out to him the fact that he'd been mindlessly adding sharp sand to the mix for the last 20 minutes or so

I did like that line.

Though I do wonder if you have too much time on your hands. Bob the Builder?
gamiila
Feb. 21st, 2005 02:52 pm (UTC)
Shut up.
curiouswombat
Feb. 21st, 2005 12:36 pm (UTC)
Poor Wendy - she never gets any fun!! Loved it!
gamiila
Feb. 21st, 2005 02:01 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I did toy with the idea of making Wendy come along on this trip abroad, but decided it would be too much of a departure from canon: as you say, she never gets any fun. ;-)
speakr2customrs
Feb. 21st, 2005 01:09 pm (UTC)
Loved it!

and Muck had taken it to the nearest landfill site for illegal dumping was my favourite line.
gamiila
Feb. 21st, 2005 02:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I's been fun writing it.
janedavitt
Feb. 21st, 2005 01:21 pm (UTC)
I adored this beyond words.
gamiila
Feb. 21st, 2005 02:04 pm (UTC)
I'm so pleased! Thanks for reading, and commenting.
calove
Feb. 21st, 2005 01:44 pm (UTC)
Hee hee! Excellent! Can you write it? Yes, you can!
gamiila
Feb. 21st, 2005 02:11 pm (UTC)
Heehee! Loved your Hungry Vampire btw, that was so inspired!
missmurchison
Feb. 21st, 2005 03:01 pm (UTC)
Hee! Especially to the illegal dumping. (Although in the Midwest, there appears to be no legal dumping, so I'm not sure what else they would do. You should see the junk in my garage that I can't get rid of because no place will take it and burning is illegal!)
gamiila
Feb. 21st, 2005 04:06 pm (UTC)
The illegal dumping line just wrote itself...I didn't think to research any of my story.

Strange to think though, that there is no easy and legitimate way to get rid of your junk in certain parts of America at least. So that's why you hold all those garage sales!
paratti
Feb. 21st, 2005 03:29 pm (UTC)
Great fun:)
gamiila
Feb. 21st, 2005 04:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
vegmb
Feb. 21st, 2005 03:52 pm (UTC)
and Spud and Giles had kept each other company drinking copious amounts of tea :)

Love it, and am so glad you posted it...only, how is it that you know the characters on Bob the Builder? I have kids and couldn't even have supplied this info.
gamiila
Feb. 21st, 2005 04:12 pm (UTC)
how is it that you know the characters on Bob the Builder?

I have a three year old nephew. Bob the Builder is his hero.

The story, such as it is, in effect really wrote itself. I only had to check the Cee-Beebies site to find out the English names for the characters.
hesadevil
Feb. 21st, 2005 04:32 pm (UTC)
Do it again! Do it again! (A little Dru-channeling never goes amiss.)

But do a crossover with Postman Pat - there's a cat in it.
gamiila
Feb. 21st, 2005 04:59 pm (UTC)
You will not believe this...but I have been thinking of letting Postman Pat and Jess do a cameo on my next fic attempt!

"Postman Pat, Postman Pat
Postman Pat and his black and white cat
Early in the morning
Just as day is dawning..."


They could meet a sluggish vampire at that time of day, couldn't they?
sanda56
Feb. 21st, 2005 06:53 pm (UTC)
Yay! That was really good! (Not of course that I have any knowledge of Bob the Builder.) :)

I can just see Spike getting on with some practical carpentry! They'll all appreciate Xander in future, won't they? ;)
gamiila
Feb. 21st, 2005 07:07 pm (UTC)
That was really good! (Not of course that I have any knowledge of Bob the Builder.)

Cheers! And...neither have I: I'm just going on what a 3-year-old has told me. ;-)

I can just see Spike getting on with some practical carpentry!

Yes -- well, Spike's always struck me as someone who might enjoy a bit of tinkering on occasion...
sanda56
Feb. 21st, 2005 08:20 pm (UTC)
Spike's always struck me as someone who might enjoy a bit of tinkering on occasion...

Oh, I could do with bit of work done in the bedroom. Do you think Spike would oblige? ;D
gamiila
Feb. 21st, 2005 08:33 pm (UTC)
Dunno...but you could always try and lure him there with promises of flowery onions and buffalo wings...
sanda56
Feb. 21st, 2005 09:02 pm (UTC)
Dunno...but you could always try and lure him there with promises of flowery onions and buffalo wings...

LOL! Yes, I don't think my girlish charms would be enough either! :P
( 25 Speak Like A Child — Shout To The Top )

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