Gamiila (gamiila) wrote,
Gamiila
gamiila

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View from a bridge


I hadn't been at the office an hour when one of Jobworth's favourites, finding me alone, took the opportunity to verbally lay into me and tell me how to do my job. My heartrate sped up from normal to off the chart, tears sprang to my eyes and my hands started shaking so much that I spilt my coffee all over the desk. In the middle of his rant, I got up, put on my coat, and walked out. I'm not going back there, not for any money. Well, not until they force me to, anyway.

I'm so bloody tired. I haven't been sleeping well in weeks. I lie awake most nights just staring at the ceiling. It's not that I can't sleep for worrying -- or if it is, I'm not aware that I'm worried, or fretting, or thinking anything in particular, really. Just...can't sleep. And I can't seem to get warm. I'm so, so cold each and every day, despite wearing at least three layers of clothing.

Thank God I'm going to see the therapist again tomorrow. Maybe she can help me figure out why things are getting worse rather than better. Although...I haven't done the homework she gave me. I had to write down 5 good things that happened to me for each day in the 3 weeks between appointments. But I haven't even managed to pinpoint 1 good thing that's happened in the whole of that period.

God! I'm pathetic...Think I'd better stop this, right now.
Tags: burn-out, work
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