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The next big step

We're moving Dad into the home before Nov 1st.

Yesterday, one of the carers informed me that a nice room had become available in the nursing home next to the sheltered housing project where Dad currently resides. So I rang the home and they told me that they'd already set it aside for him, had actually taken him to have a look at it last week, and were just waiting for him to say yea or nay. But Dad hadn't mentioned it to me! So I asked him and he said, oh yes, he'd been to have a look at it and it seemed really nice, but it was still occupied and it could take 6 months or more for it to become available.
I think he's trying to sabotage the whole thing.

The room is fine - not too big, but with a large window that lets in a lot of light, a fine view, and even a balconette. Apart from the main room, he'll also have his own little kitchenette that comes fully equiped with fridge, microwave, hot plate and electric kettle; and his own private bathroom with toilet, shower and wash stand. Lots of cupboard space, and a laundry service that'll even take care of tagging all his textile belongings. Cleaning service is perfunctory though - only 20 minutes a week, due to shortages in personnel. But I'm sure we can work something out there. Anyway, I told them we'd take it, then I went and told Dad the good news. I'm going back there tomorrow, with a tape measure.

Comments

( 3 Speak Like A Child — Shout To The Top )
(Anonymous)
Oct. 7th, 2003 07:59 am (UTC)
Glad to hear you've got it sorted out. I can understand your dad's reluctance to move but I'm sure he'll settle down eventually. He will probably continue to complain but I suppose that is his perogative!!
Carol.
gamiila
Oct. 9th, 2003 03:10 am (UTC)
As I said, I went back there yesterday, tape measure in hand. I'll be sorting out the furnishings on Saturday, and I arranged for the formal handing of the keys (& the rent to start to be payable from) Monday. Afterwards, I stopped by Dad's and had another talk with him. I drew him a plan and showed him where all his favourite pieces of furniture could go, and promised we'd keep some of the other stuff in storage for a while at least, which seemed to put his mind at rest. I do understand that it's difficult for him. Half the time he's resigned to his fate and agrees that he can't carry on like he has; the other half he's just scared of the change and digs his heels in (or tries to). And I hate doing this to him when he makes me feel as if I'm pushing him into doing something he doesn't want, but I know that in the end, he'll be much happier. He'll still have some measure of independence, but there'll be people around 24/7 to help him should he need help.

Thank God though, that the home allows pets to move in with their owners. My Dad would have gone nowhere without his cat!
calove
Oct. 7th, 2003 03:37 pm (UTC)
Sounds perfect. And yes, he's bound to prevaricate, but I'm sure deep down he knows it's for the best. At least he will keep some independence for as long as he is able, but have the support he needs when he is feeling less able. He's lucky to have a daughter who cares enough to do this for him. Mind you, he'll spend a great deal of time making you feel guilty about it. It's revenge for the years of guilt parenthood brings;-)
( 3 Speak Like A Child — Shout To The Top )

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