hyper1. What's your real name? I feel like a Hepzibah, so let's make that my real name for today
2. What's your favorite nickname? Mata Krandyang. My grandmother called me that when I was a baby -- apparently my big brown eyes reminded her of the big round baskets used to separate the chaff from the rice in the country where she grew up, and so she christened me 'Basket Eyes' in her native Malaysian. Although she died long ago, my mother and aunties still occasionally call me by that name.
4. What's your favorite nickname for your genitals? nickname? I just call them by their correct anatomical term, "down there"
5. Where were you born? The Hague, The Netherlands
6. Do you like the rain? occasionally
7. Have you ever been in love? "sometimes I almost envy the need, but don't see the prize"
8. Did you ever wonder why there are llamas? to spit in my eye?
9. What song best describes you? I think I'm paranoid, Garbage
10. What would you name your first son? Manasse
11. What would you name your first son if you made him in your garage out of glue, coat hangers and sawdust? Eeeew
12. Do you write in pen or pencil? pen
13. When was the last time you cried? last year, maybe?
14. When was the last time you wanted to cry? last year, maybe?
15. When was the last time George Lucas made you want to cry? E.T. -- they kicked me out of the children's matinee for crying too loudly!
16. When you were a kid, did you ever break any bones? nope, not until I was a teenager
17. When you were a kid, did you ever steal anything? oh yeah
18. When you were in prison, did you do any amateur tatooing? Ssssshh! - not so loud!
19. Do you like donuts? is the Pope Catholic?
20. Even jelly donuts? doesn't everyone?
21. Do you know what's in that shit? starch (otherwise known as ground animal bones) and colouring agents?
22. If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be? the kind that lives in Entwood Forest
23. If you were a cow, would you be white with black spots? nope -- I'd be the black, sturdy, shaggy-coated kind with large horns...what're they called, Highlanders?
24. If you were flexible enough, would you... y'know? pfft -- been there, done that
25. What was the saddest moment in your life? filling out this survey
26. Do you think I really care? do you think I do?
27. How many times do I have to tell you to shut the Fuck up? until the day you die
28. What color shoes are you wearing? dark brown, suede
29. What color shirt are you wearing? not wearing one
30. Are you wearing any underpants? definitely
31. Oooo. Are they lacey? nope, just plain ol' black cotton
32. Do I make you hot? lukewarm, maybe
33. What is your lucky number? 1, and 'the series of 4' -it says so on this packet of Chinese joss-sticks I've just bought
34. What is your unlucky number? aaargh! it doesn't say on this packet of Chinese joss-sticks! so, any number that isn't 1 or 'the series of 4'?
35. Why do you succumb to human weakness and hold superstitions, you sad, callow sheep? it's something to do, is all
36. What's your favorite book? Winnie-the-Pooh
37. What's your favorite page number in that book? the Introduction - it has Roman numerals, but I don't know which ones off the top of my head
38. What is the de Broglie wavelength of an electron accelerating with a total energy of 300 KeV? who cares?
39. Who knows you the best? I do
40. Who knows you the best "in the Biblical sense"? I do
41. Who knows you the best to testify against you? yep, 'sme again!
42. Describe yourself in one word. fantastic
43. Describe yourself in one preposition. in
44. Just who in the Hell do you think you are? GOD
45. Would you like to star in a movie about your life? I might be persuaded to do a cameo
46. Would you like to star in a transgendered-midget porn movie about your life? fun as it sounds, I think I'll pass
47. Are you a generous person? yes! just so long as you don't ask me for money
48. Can I borrow $100? will you be my slave forever?
49. Did you lie on this test? of course
50. Did you lie on that last question? of course
