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Decision time

My sister and I are having to decide on what to do with Dad's ashes. There's quite a number of options to choose from, ranging from the traditional (interment in either a grave or a wall), to the sublime (sending him up 20 kilometres in the sky in a balloon), the morbid (taking the urn home to sit on the mantlepiece) and the ridiculous (having jewelry fashioned out of him). The undertaker didn't even flinch when we asked if we couldn't use the ashes in a tattoo!

I know Dad wanted for his ashes to be scattered. He didn't stipulate whether this should happen on land or at sea, but since he had no particular attachment to or connection with the latter, personally I'd favour a scattering on land. My sister however, and to my surprise, is vehemently opposed to this. She says she's not ready to say goodbye to him forever, and wants to have him interred so she can visit him often and lay flowers...The surprise in this is that she hardly ever bothered to visit him when he was alive...

But, I've agreed to hold off the scattering for a few years. I don't think Dad would have really minded either way, and if it makes my sister feel better, then why not?

Comments

( 3 Speak Like A Child — Shout To The Top )
jonesiexxx
Nov. 11th, 2009 08:35 pm (UTC)
You really sound like you have your head on straight - and over such a very emotional thing. No harm waiting. And much good done in comforting your sister.
enigmaticblues
Nov. 11th, 2009 09:06 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I think you're right. If your sister feels so strongly, and you don't, and your dad probably doesn't, it's probably best to hold off.
hesadevil
Nov. 11th, 2009 09:34 pm (UTC)
If it makes my sister feel better, then why not?
All ceremonies to do with death are for the living, so I think this is a good decision.

MWNN is in Ireland for the internment of his Ma's ashes in his Father's grave on what would have been Ma's 100th birthday. There was also a plan to retain some ashes to scatter at her favourite holiday places, but I don't know if arrangements have been made to put that into operation. He went to Ireland saying if nothing had been done, he wouldn't raise the idea and let it pass.
( 3 Speak Like A Child — Shout To The Top )

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