Gamiila (gamiila) wrote,
Gamiila
gamiila
  • Mood: depressed

The state of me

I haven't felt like posting lately; though I have been keeping up with the flist and commenting. But when it comes to updating my own journal, I don't feel I have anything to write about. I'm still out of work, have been for 4,5 months now, and have no hope of this situation changing any time soon. I've applied for 50-odd positions so far, have had only 5 interviews, and no offers at all. The rejection e-mail/phone call invariably states that I 'do not fit the profile' which is the accepted euphemism for 'too old/too experienced/too expensive' - I can't even get a call centre job or sign up with an agency. The benefit I receive barely covers my mortgage and insurance payments, which means that in addition to stressing over the fact that I'm out of work, I'm constantly stressing over my finances as well. To add insult to injury, everything keeps breaking on me: the loo, the central heating, and the kettle (I've replaced the kettle; but how am I going to sort the other two?), and the weather's mostly been cold, grey and wet since July (I'm currently wearing two cardies over my top, and a vest underneath), affecting my mood as well. For the second time in my life, I've been contemplating the idea of entering the religious life, get myself to a nunnery...but the lack of a genuine calling leads me to believe I won't fit the profile there, either.

I'm gaining weight 'cause I can't stop comfort-eating. I've become addicted to playing match 3 games on the computer. And after having watched S1 and 2 of Being Human on YouTube, I can't wait for someone to upload S3 as well, and soon.
Tags: unemployment
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  • 27 comments

  • She's moved in

    Mum took up residence in the care home today. She confided in me, just before we left the flat that had been her home for the last 6 years, that she…

  • Don't panic!

    So my sister was supposed to take Mum to the dental technician for her umpteenth appointment this morning, but she texted to say her boss hadn't…

  • Of old people, the things that pass

    In February 2014, Mum moved into her present abode. Ever since her last divorce in 1997, she had been living in a ground-floor flat in an inner city…