Gamiila (gamiila) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:
I knew Caroline was in The Netherlands this week, and would be staying at Mark's; but yesterday, I found her on my doorstep. Turns out Mark and his husband have been fighting and flinging the dinner plates at each other's heads incessantly, and after 3 days of this, their guest scampered. Straight to mine, and she's going to stay until Sunday.

I don't mind having her, but I'm appalled to find how ill-prepared I am for unexpected guests. Nothing in the fridge but half a tin of Spam that I may have opened and put back 6 months ago; 2 eggs and some pineapple juice. Toothpaste stains on the mirror over the washstand. Shoes and stacks of BtVS-fanfic everywhere. And a cat with a bladder infection that sits down and leaves a bloody trail on every available surface every two minutes.

I'm a pig. I really am. But pigs are smart animals so now I've got me a cunning plan: I'll ask her to meet me at the station tonight and then invite her to the movies. Unfortunately, the midnight marathon showing of The Lord of the Ring-trilogy is booked solid, but I'm hoping Master and Commander will keep her occupied enough to forget about my shortcomings as a hostess. The only flaw in my plan is, she's got all day and daylight to see what a terrible housewife I am...

And if I hear Noddy Holder shout It's Chriiiiistmaaass! one more time, I'm going to...

  • She's moved in

    Mum took up residence in the care home today. She confided in me, just before we left the flat that had been her home for the last 6 years, that she…

  • Don't panic!

    So my sister was supposed to take Mum to the dental technician for her umpteenth appointment this morning, but she texted to say her boss hadn't…

  • Of old people, the things that pass

    In February 2014, Mum moved into her present abode. Ever since her last divorce in 1997, she had been living in a ground-floor flat in an inner city…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.