It's always hard on families but, having seen too many times the problems caused by waiting till there's a crisis or worse, the parent carer dies I would strongly advise that yoyr aunt and uncle get their son settled in supported living ( a group home, not an insititution) as soon as possible. That way they can continue to support him but be reassured that he's settled and happy which may help them to let go of some of their worries

I agree with Deb's comments above. They should deal with this problem ASAP before one of them becomes ill. I recently gave this advice to my elderly neighbour as well - that she does the legwork now while she is still with it and mobile to find her own nursing home, rather than leaving it to her nieces to deal with when she is no longer able to. Nobody wants to be in a nursing home but for most of us, it's the inevitable end (barring more widespread acceptance of euthanasia, which would be my preferred choice, but the god-botherers seem to think it's okay for them to impose their opposition upon me). Better to choose your own and make your own arrangements, I say.

Off topic question:
A friend and I dined together last night and the subject of Dutch cuisine came up. Neither of us had any associations with what Dutch people eat — are there any typical national dishes? She'd been to an ostensibly Dutch restaurant in the East Village recently and ate fried oysters and something made of oxtails.