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Scarred and scared

It may be the summer solstice, but you'd never guess...It's another dull, grey day full of showers and short on sunshine, like too many we have had this year. It seems winter gave way to autumn, skipping spring altogether; and it's anyone's guess whether we'll actually get to summer later on.

Anyway, I do apologise for having gone AWOL for a while, though not quite, as I have been lurking here, checking on my flist, but not actually updating. There just didn't seem that much point, as my period of unemployment stretched into its eighth month, and there are only so many ways one can hide one's gradual descent into depression and despair. Though I still have no news to report on that score, and I am still none too happy about my situation, I think it's time I let you know that I've decided to try and break through my despondency by calling in the help of a bona fide career coach. When I received my tax return last month, I suddenly had the funds to hire a professional to help me get back on track and find out a) what it is that I'm looking for, job-wise and b) what's preventing me from getting it, so far. Hopefully then, by the end of the summer, I will be in a much better frame of mind again, full of new energy and ideas, and in a much better position to find work again before the end of the year.

Meanwhile, it's been three months since my unfortunate tumble, and my face has healed up pretty well. There is a scar on my upper lip, and although I still have to get used to how it feels (i.e., a bit tight when I yawn or smile), it's not too bad.


Unfortunately, my teeth haven't fared that well, and I'm going to have to say goodbye to two of them this coming Monday. The canine that was reinserted has failed to re-attach itself, and the one next to it that has gone up into the jaw is causing me such discomfort that it's been decided to extract it rather than leave it. The last X-ray showed it to have been broken as well, so how my dentist is going to get all the pieces out, I can't tell you; but he's had a couple of weeks to ponder the problem and I'm sure I'll be fine. However, I will be left with a gaping big hole in my upper row of teeth, and will need a partial denture to cover it up.

I know it's my only option, but I'm vain enough to hate the idea of it. I may never have had the dazzling American smile that's becoming ever more fashionable over here too, with whiteners and straighteners and whathaveyous, but I had my own teeth for half a century and if I hadn't fallen off that ladder I might have had them for a half century more...but now I'll have to get used to keeping my teeth in a jar by the bed. It's scary, how utterly past it that makes me feel.


( 17 Speak Like A Child — Shout To The Top )
Jun. 21st, 2012 01:04 pm (UTC)
Oh that's horrid! Is there any chance of a bridge rather than a denture? I got a tooth knocked out and another broken a few years back and they capped the broken one and the one on the other side of the gap but there's a fake tooth in the middle attached to those caps.. for some reason it feels better to me than one I have to take out and put in a jar!

Jun. 21st, 2012 01:19 pm (UTC)
According to my dentist, there won't be enough support for a bridge; he can't see how he could anchor one. :(
Jun. 21st, 2012 01:47 pm (UTC)
You really have healed up wonderfully! And I'm so sorry about the teeth. That would bother me, too. *big hugs*

Good luck with the career coach!
Jun. 21st, 2012 02:48 pm (UTC)
When I think about what's going to happen to my teeth, I just want to crawl behind the sofa and stay there. But...who knows, it may not be that bad...

Jun. 21st, 2012 02:08 pm (UTC)
I'll be curious to read your experiences with the career counselor.

COndolences on the teeth.
Jun. 21st, 2012 02:51 pm (UTC)
I'm quite curious myself. I'll meet her for the first time in a little over two weeks, so I'll probably fill you in after ;-)
Jun. 21st, 2012 02:45 pm (UTC)
I hope you find an excellent career counsellor. Sorry to hear about the teeth.
Jun. 21st, 2012 02:54 pm (UTC)
Well, I've found one...it remains to be seen whether she's any good ;-)

Thanks. Hope you're feeling better as well?
Jun. 21st, 2012 04:36 pm (UTC)
Will be very interested indeed to hear how the career counselling goes. Having had that long heart to heart this week with a friend until recently in a similar work position to mine (ie perfectly okay but not anything we feel inspired by), and seen how galvanised she is by redundancy and having some limited space to think and change, I'm looking at my working life with new dissatisfaction. I mean, glad to have a job, but it's been a good couple of years since I enjoyed it, and that is not good.

It's great to hear from you, btw. Safe space to share and vent, and all that, but it's also just nice to 'hear' your voice!
Jun. 22nd, 2012 10:42 am (UTC)
As I said, I'm hoping the counselling will help me get back on track -- back in RL and here on LJ!

These are difficult times for all of us. But I'm sure there are still any number of opportunities out there, if only one knew how to find them!

And thank you. It's nice to hear your 'voice' too, and realise I'm not alone.
Jun. 21st, 2012 06:31 pm (UTC)
It has healed well - hurrah!

I recognise what you feel about the idea of the tiny denture - I felt the same way after I broke two teeth following an accident at work. I couldn't have a bridge for the same reason as you - and I lived with the gap for about three or four years (canine and the next one back, so not as obvious as front teeth would have been!!). But then I realised I really would be better with those two teeth... for my wedding photos.

So I have had a partial denture since my very early thirties.

That first one (more recently there have been more teeth added) had very little palate, it was held in place by hooking into my other teeth - and to acclimatise myself to it I slept with it in situ for the first few weeks, only taking it out to clean it and then putting it back. This is not recommended long term though - my habit of forgetting to take it out probably contributed to the need for the teeth to be added to the more recent one...

And best of luck with the work coaching.
Jun. 22nd, 2012 10:55 am (UTC)
canine and the next one back,

Left-hand side? That's where mine is\will be! Knowing you've gone through the same experience does help put my mind at ease, so thank you for that.

I hope I'll get used to the RPD soon; at the moment, I can't visualise how it would hook into my other teeth exactly, but I'm sure that it'll prove as easy to get in\take out as my contacts. I remember I balked at having those for a long time, too, as I didn't fancy the idea of poking myself in the eyes all the time...The reality has proved very different.
Jun. 21st, 2012 07:05 pm (UTC)
Oh man. That whole teeth thing. Life is challenging enough in its incremental indignities. We certainly don't need our bodies offering up dramatic reminders of how fragile and temporary we are.

I truly feel for you.
Jun. 22nd, 2012 11:02 am (UTC)

don't need our bodies offering up dramatic reminders of how fragile and temporary we are.

Looking back over the past couple of years though, I wonder how many more lessons I will need to get before I get the message? ;-)
Jun. 22nd, 2012 12:19 am (UTC)
I am sorry for the loss of the tooth. I think it comes to us all eventually, however much we might fight to avoid it. I don't suppose you can get a second opinion? Or perhaps consider an implant (expensive and time-consuming though it might be)?

I hope the career counselling works out for you, I completely understand the despair of your continued unemployment. I am so thankful though, that you at least own your apartment and never need to fear having to move due to not being able to afford it any more. That's my greatest fear with unemployment. If one of us lost our jobs, we would struggle to continue paying for the house we live in - and it's nothing more than a tiny attached flat. (this of course, reflects the insane price of real estate here, but that's a discussion for another time)

Jun. 22nd, 2012 11:13 am (UTC)
Dental implants can be placed in the upper jaw if sufficient bone is available. Apparently, there isn't where my injury occured: it's the thinnest part, not safe for anchoring.

Of course, I could go for a second opinion...but I know and trust my dentist. He's been treating me since the 80s, and he's never let me down yet. Granted, he hasn't had to do much over the years, but still...

I will own my apartment once I pay off my mortgage. Until then, I could still lose the place -- though it will take a lot more than a (hopefully temporary) spate of unemployment to make me fall behind on my payments.

Edited at 2012-06-22 11:13 am (UTC)
Jun. 22nd, 2012 02:11 pm (UTC)
( 17 Speak Like A Child — Shout To The Top )
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