Gamiila (gamiila) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:

The camera never lies

calove sent me some pictures taken of me during our recent sojourn in New York. Of course, I already knew that my waistline had expanded over the last twelvemonth, but to know and to see are two different things altogether.

My mother and sister are reed-thin, true Orientals. I, OTOH, have always had a far more sturdy build, and, since age 13, boobs. One morning, I woke up, and there they were, B-cup sized. I remember I was horrified, and from that day on I was never comfortable unless I could wear something loose-fitting enough to hide the damn things.

But, even if I wasn't completely happy with my Marilyn Monroe figure, I never had a problem maintaining my weight until I hit 30. I began losing my sight and was diagnosed with a (benign) tumour pressing on my optical nerve. In order to tackle this problem I was put on large doses of Prednison both before and after surgery, and I swelled up like a balloon. About a year after my first surgery, I was allowed to come off the medication, but I remained somewhat bloated-looking. The doctors told me that it would take a year or more for me to regain my previous shape, and so I never really worried when it didn't happen. On the contrary: I got distracted by the fact that the tumour returned and I had to go through the whole thing again. And after that, it came back once more, in 2001.

My past episodes of blindness have typically lasted 8-10 months; my recovery after that usually took 2-3 months more. They were periods of great boredom and very little activity, so I'm not surprised that I started to gain weight again after each incident, when in 1997 I was over the moon that I'd finally recovered my pre-tumour form and figure (except for my boobs, which were now definitely D-cup sized, and have remained so ever since, much to my chagrin). However, I have noticed in the last year that I don't seem to be able to lose any of the weight I've accumulated since last time. And I'm getting quite worried now...

I lead a sedentary life. I work in an office. I sit on my arse all day. I do yoga, but I hate the thought of real exercise: I don't like jogging. I don't like aerobics. I don't like bicycling. But I do like chocolate.

I eat my greens and non-fattening foods, but they don't seem to do much for me. I'm getting quite disheartened. What is a girl to do?
Tags: real life

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.