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Camel, meet straw

This will come as no surprise to you who have been reading this journal for the last few months: I think I'm very near to cracking. You've seen my entries about the hellish commute, the work pressure and the intractability of my manager, respectlessly referred to as Jobsworth, and you will know that I have steadily been losing it for some time now.

Today, all public transport personnel in and around Amsterdam is on strike. Which meant that the trains, which were running according to schedule, were overcrowded in the extreme. Which meant that my train into work broke down, a happenstance that caused me to be late coming into the office. Late as in 1 hour late. Do you think that Jobsworth, who knew of the strike and who knows very well what my situation is as far as my dependency on public transport is concerned, reacts to this with understanding and compassion? Of course not. He insists I stay behind tonight to make up for the lost hour of productivity. Realistically, how productive do you think I am going to be after our heated little discussion of just now?

I've made up my mind: first thing tomorrow, I'm going to see my GP, tell him I'm stressed out of my skull, and see if he won't prescribe complete and utter rest for the remainder of the week at least.

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Comments

( 26 Speak Like A Child — Shout To The Top )
hils
Sep. 27th, 2004 04:27 am (UTC)
GPs are usually pretty good for that sort of thing. I'm sure they'll be able to sort you out. Maybe if you take some time off it'll also make your boss realise what an arse he's being
gamiila
Sep. 27th, 2004 04:35 am (UTC)
Well, it's never had that effect before...but then, I've always just muddled on through till my next holiday came up. Take next week e.g., I've already booked time off work to come to England and see CoRo, and under normal circumstances, I would just grin and bear my present situation until 5 pm on Friday. Now though, I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of spending any time in the office tomorrow, or the day after, ad infinitum. Perhaps I should have just downed tools and walked as soon as he made his demands, instead of returning to my desk seething -- but with this bloody strike on, where am I gonna go? I'm hoping I can bum a ride off someone nearer end of working hours.
hils
Sep. 27th, 2004 04:40 am (UTC)
Do you have a staff welfare officer or someone you can talk to about his behaviour? He shouldn't be able to get away with treating you like that
gamiila
Sep. 27th, 2004 04:47 am (UTC)
I've talked to them before. I've even talked to his manager...So far, it hasn't done any good. The staff welfare people have advised me to remain calm and count to ten when he's being an ass, and sent someone round to adjust my desk to the right height for me. My manager's manager just referred me back to Jobsworth in order to try and resolve our differences.
hils
Sep. 27th, 2004 05:15 am (UTC)
*sigh*

I'm sorry :(

jazz_police had a similar problem at work. People seem so reluctant to help people who need it
gamiila
Sep. 27th, 2004 06:00 am (UTC)
My problem is confounded by the fact that I'm also the chairperson of the Works Council, which under Dutch law is a representative body (elected from the workforce), that has a say in all kinds of company matters. I'm used to treating/negotiating with the CEO or CEO stand-in and higher management all the time, know all the ins and outs, am fully up to speed on employment law and workers rights and always know how to help others best when they have a problem, but when it comes to dealing with my own messes...
bogwitch
Sep. 27th, 2004 05:07 am (UTC)
Not a good feeling for a monday.

I bet he has car, git.
gamiila
Sep. 27th, 2004 05:15 am (UTC)
Yes, a company car no less. And he lives 5 minutes walking distance from the office.
bogwitch
Sep. 27th, 2004 05:19 am (UTC)
Explains it all.

I'm sure these people are bred specially. I had a supervisor who I continuely locked horns with because she had no people skills (on a management level anyway) and had no idea how to do her job. I notice these people overly rely on figures because they don't understand/can't control anything else. You can imagine our delight when she turned up one day blind drunk and was suspended!

Fingers crossed the doc can help.
gamiila
Sep. 27th, 2004 05:26 am (UTC)
I feel so stupid, but -- fingers crossed I can swallow my pride, make it into surgery and actually say the words "Doc, I don't think I can cope anymore". I'm such an ass about these things...
bogwitch
Sep. 27th, 2004 05:29 am (UTC)
Back when I was buying the flat, I was quite stessed at work and under a lot of pressure to move out. My doctor offered me anti-depressants (I refused), so hopefully they'll take stress seriously. hey are in chrge of your mental health too.
gamiila
Sep. 27th, 2004 05:41 am (UTC)
So far, I've had every reason to trust my doctors. I very rarely see them, but when I do, they always take me seriously and never disappoint.

I do hope they won't try and persuade me to go on anti-depressants, though. I've got very strict ideas about that sort of thing.
bogwitch
Sep. 27th, 2004 05:52 am (UTC)
So have I, I think they give them out way to freely.
gamiila
Sep. 27th, 2004 06:04 am (UTC)
That's one thing -- the other is that they don't take away the underlying problem.
bogwitch
Sep. 27th, 2004 06:05 am (UTC)
Unfortunately not.

*sigh*
gamiila
Sep. 27th, 2004 06:15 am (UTC)
If only there were a pill that would make Jobsworth go poof! My stress levels would be reduced to non-existant in an instant! ;-)
bogwitch
Sep. 27th, 2004 06:20 am (UTC)
Cyanide?
gamiila
Sep. 27th, 2004 06:32 am (UTC)
Oooh! Now there's a thought! I could bring him a hot chocolate as a peace offering....
bogwitch
Sep. 27th, 2004 06:46 am (UTC)
One can dream.
calove
Sep. 27th, 2004 08:51 am (UTC)
Love, it shouldn't be a problem convincing yoyr GP you need a break. And even if you don't - take the time anyway. Aren't you allowed a certain amount of uncertified time anyway? You MUST look after yourself. Nothing is worth giving yourself a breakdown. What about chatting to the company doctor or whoever it was you saw about your RSI? Have another complain about Jobsworth?
gamiila
Sep. 28th, 2004 04:32 am (UTC)
What about chatting to the company doctor

Next item on my list...

The locum standing in for my GP this morning didn't seem to helpful at first, but now that I've had time to mull over his comments, I think he was right. He said I exhibited classic symptoms of an imminent breakdown, but that since it was clearly all work-related I would be better off discussing things with my company doctor (who I'd discussed things with before and who advised me to consult my GP). He would be happy to do a bloodtest to rule out any possibility of me coming down with something and blaming it on exhaustion by mistake, but he didn't think it was really necessary; and the only other thing he could do for me, he said, was prescribe me some anti-depressants and they wouldn't do any good in the long run.

Came home, and the phone was ringing off the hook. Jobsworth - what the fuck I thought I was playing at not showing up for work on time twice in a row now? When I explained that I'd just seen my doctor and was, in his considered opinion, on the verge of a nervous breakdown or quite clearly suffering from burn-out, he said he thought I must have some private worries because it was simply inconceivable that it was work-related, and what time could he expect me? I told him where to go, rang the company doctor for an appointment in two weeks, and made it clear that I wouldn't be reporting for duty this week at all. Then, I sat down and had a good cry.
calove
Sep. 28th, 2004 02:55 pm (UTC)
What an absolute bastard that man is. Private worries? Like you've got time for a life thanks to him and his stupid company? Jeez, what an arse.

Stick to your guns. Take the time off and don't speak to him, don't give him the satisfaction of venting his spleen. Do you have a union, because this is sounding like vicitimisation. The man clearly has personal problems or issues with confident and powerful women. You've been with HP for so long, and you've done so well, has it not occurred to him that maybe, just maybe, something has changed recently at work that is causing you this grief? Like him turning up maybe?

Sorry, I'm very, very angry on your behalf. Which doesn't help, does it. Take your time off, come and chill out for a few days in Blighty, go and talk honestly to your company doctor and if you have one, see your union rep. You shouldn't have to put up with this.
gamiila
Sep. 29th, 2004 06:08 am (UTC)
Sorry, I'm very, very angry on your behalf

Thanks love, that's sweet, but there's no need. I'll come and see you in a few days and maybe cry on your shoulder a bit, but mostly I'm just trying to forget all about work and Jobsworth and chill.

My friends will be the financial ruin of me -- Caroline's just saying she won't mind if instead of spending a day traipsing through Manchester with her, I decide to follow CoRo up to Scotland.
(Deleted comment)
gamiila
Sep. 28th, 2004 04:40 am (UTC)
Thanks! You'll be pleased to know that I did consult my doctor and I have taken a breather, even if he didn't exactly prescribe one...;-)

CoRo next week should sort me out a bit, I think...
viciouswishes
Sep. 27th, 2004 06:12 pm (UTC)
*lots of snuggles*
gamiila
Sep. 28th, 2004 04:37 am (UTC)
Thank you! Snuggles are more than welcome, and very nmuch appreciated ;-)
( 26 Speak Like A Child — Shout To The Top )

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